I did it. I managed to get two very long papers done in 32 hours. That's great. It's the end of the semester, and I am totally happy about that. But everything seemed to come calling at once. The message on my answering service sa...

Wally wasn't too bad this week. Seriously. He only mentioned the fact that it was up to chancellor John White to find Frank Broyles' successor four times. The rest of the column wasn't too bad if you were looking for a news story; but there were a couple of questionable sentences in the first few paragraphs. The first sentence concerned the Fayetteville fan base. He wrote, "Where does one look to find someone who is willing to accept the challenge of not only replacing a legend, but smooth the deep wrinkles in the fan base . " Smooth the deep wrinkles in the fan base? I don't know where Wally got this one from. Maybe he heard someone say it earlier in the week and just had to find a place to put it. U of A basketball hasn't had a large fan base because of their lack of talent. Their best player as of late was Joe Johnson (who did participate in his first All-Star game) and he's a veteran in the NBA now. As for football, the Hogs aren't exactly hurting for more fan support. If you live in Arkansas and haven't seen a Razorback game in the past five years, you are either legally blind, from another state or Amish (and you never know: even a few Amish people knew about Matt Jones). The other question mark I drew from his article was about academics. Hall wrote, "(A new athletic director) who understands that the world of academia is not accountable but the athletic department is accountable to its fans." Given his age, I can understand a few not-so-clear statements like this one. I believe that Wally is trying to say that academics are not responsible for building fans, yet athletics are. And if so, then yes, he is somewhat correct. But he should know better than to try to downplay the scholars at U of A. The student body is at every game (be it in Little Rock, Fayetteville or the moon for that matter) faithfully. Before I get too far into that, though, maybe Wally is saying something else (like grab my alzheimer's medicine); but overall, I really must applaud Mr. Hall on this AP-ish column. After all, I kind of feel sorry for him. His good friend Frank Broyles is leaving, and he may find himself going against the grain with a new athletic director. Yikes.

I don't wanna hear another person complain about Arkansas being behind the times. I'm tired of hearing people complain about the supposed lack of things to do in Arkadelphia. If you don't like Henderson or Arkadelphia, just leave. The extra parking space would be great to have. It would also be nice to be able to cross the street without waiting on some lame white boy who is taking his precious time driving down the street in an oversized pickup truck with a Confederate flag bumper sticker, all while he's blasting Mike Jones from his 12" speakers. Where do these cretins come from? I was one of a whopping seven or eight people that attended Taylor Mali's performance last Tuesday night (I'm not including the SAB members because they were probably required to be there). Oh, let me guess-you don't know who the hell Taylor Mali is? He's that slam poet guy whose flyers were posted all over the Garrison last week. I had to be there to write an article about him (an article that no one will read because their eyes will be glued to CSI or whatever is on the tube), but I would have gone regardless of my assignment. What about Redneck Superhero Jason Carney? He was yet another talented poet who may as well not have come thanks to a low attendance rate. And how about student art shows? I hear this all the time: "There's nothing to do around here." Take a walk. Fly a kite. Go to the river and just daydream. Think about the world and admire how complex but perfect nature is. It would do you some good to do so if you're a mindless, alcoholic couch potato-or even if this article doesn't pertain to you. For those who I am not attacking, keep up your good daydreaming. The truth is that there's plenty to do around here. People are just too cool to participate or attend anything that has to do with something like poetry or art shows. When someone from another culture-Northerners in particular-makes a joke or comment about Arkansas or Southern culture, it never fails for someone to say, "You gotta keep in mind: we're from (and this is where they throw in an exaggerated Southern draw) Arrrr-kin-sawww. We can't help it." I love the way some people present themselves. I would love to lunge at and stab the eyes out of the next person who makes another cliched joke about incest in Arkansas. Have a dose of your own medicine: the joke is BORING and lifeless. It was only funny the first two years I heard it. The least you could do is find something else to joke about. These are the same people that don't even try to defend stereotypes. They just think their lives would be so much greater if they were to reside in another state. I got news for you: it would be the same boring, unproductive life-only in a different state. If you don't like Arkansas, just go to Texas where everything is so much bigger and so much better. If you have a problem with the South in general, go to New York and see how long your country-lovin' ass will last. I'll give you a month before you're homesick. If you hate the weather here, go live in Hawaii-and pay $1,000 a month to rent a one-room efficiency apartment. I say take it or leave it. Quit complaining about Arkansas. People say there's a lack of culture in Arkansas and its citizens. No, there's a lack of culture in the lives of most people around here because most of the people that complain about a lack of culture are the people that ignore the opportunities to actually grab life by the gonads. They are too busy playing mind-rotting video games and watching American Idol. REAL CULTURE! Arkadelphia is what the people make it. You want a boring city? You have a boring city. You want a whiff of culture? You'll get a whiff of culture. Regarding any criticisms of the South, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a simple mind. The problems lie within those that have a closed mind. My appreciation goes out to those Arkansans or anyone else who ponders the small wonders of everyday life. And for those of you that read my opinions and don't like them, just go back to drinking your beer and playing Halo. Or better yet, leave. Now. Please.

-Six Feet Under- Monday night at 8 central time on Bravo -The Soprano's- Wednesday night at 8 central time on A & E Trailer for Six Feet Under, " I want to kill my mother, my sister's on meth and my mother's a whore" Trailer for the Soprano's, "TBA" This blog site is dedicated to two original HBO series "Six Feet Under" and "The Soprano's." Each week I will discuss at least (1) episode of each show. Mon., Jan. 29 Episode: Death by Blue Ice Written by: Jill Soloway Tonight Analina Horanssen died. She was on the phone with her husband. The funny thing is that bird shit falling on your head is suppose to be good luck according to the Italians. Not for the Horanssen family, well, I think they were Russian. After watching several episodes of the show I have decided to count the number of alcoholic beverages consumed per show. Every time Nate swigs down a Budweiser I crave one myself. This isn't really the show to watch, if you are a recovering alcoholic, not that I am. But the cold beers really look good, wish I had one tonight. I watched "Six Feet" for nearly 3 hours, but I am only writing about one episode tonight. I am going to call the alcoholic consumption count "Cheers." Not so much for the show that bares the name but for the town the original pub is located in Boston, Mass., which incidentally, has nothing to do with the Fisher's. Tonights count, 3 beers and 1 tequila shot. If I really become dysfunctional I may drink the same number as them each episode. We'll see, I haven't done it yet. If someone wants to take up the honors of doing so let me know. Anyway, Mrs. Horanssen died after Blue Ice fell on her head. I have heard about Blue Ice before and looked up the statistics of the occurrence. Mr. Horanssen said there was a great corporate cover-up and that it happens all the time. Blue Ice is created by a leaky commercial airplanes lavatory waste tank, according to Wikipedia. The ice randomly falls tens of thousands of feet and sometimes kills people. There have been 27 reported cases between 1979 and 2003. According to Wikipedia, the show's mention of the phenomenon was the first time many had heard of the blue chuck of frozen shit. Lisa Fisher is still missing.